Chapter Four: Significant Relationships and Patterns of Conflict

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In this chapter we consider the huge pool of data we have from all of the conflict we experience in the thousands of relationships of which we are a part, and recognize we need to narrow the focus of our attention. We focus first of all on the relationships that are the most important to us, and then on the patterns of conflict that emerge again and again in these relationships.

As an aide to this task of focusing we offer three worksheets.

• The Significant Relationships worksheet can help identify which relationships we will most want to pay attention to.
• The Pattern of Conflicts worksheet can help identify which conflicts in each relationship hold the most promise for our attention.
• The Grid pulls these two tasks together in a way that allows for visualizing the field of our concern.